It was during my public lecture on MENTAL PROBLEMS in the famous Menengai Hall, Nakuru, Kenya in the year 1984. A young and nicely dressed girl approached me with a sick smile and a not very pleasant greeting while I was leaving the Hall.
“ Excuse me Sir “
“ Yes please “
“ I have a problem and I want to discuss about it with you, if you allow me” She said it very politely.
“ What is about? Just be very brief as I am on my way to another function just now”
“ I have been sick for long just because I have some family problems. I wanted you to listen to my problem and advice me accordingly. I have consulted some two physicians but nothing has improved so far.” She seemed to be exhausted by saying so.
I advised her to see me next Sunday in my suburb area office with her report file and gave her the fixed time and my visiting card.
I maintained a public office in the slums area of Nakuru town in Kenya especially for the needy people. I contributed six hours every Sunday and attended 40 to 50 persons and tried to sort out their problems of health, hospital expenses, school admission problems, family problems, family disputes and mental breakdown cases.
I arranged to serve them with bread and milk and fruits in the waiting hall. I had three assistants from the same area and Mrs.Kerai with my personal secretary to assist me. A doctor from the general hospital would always come to help me with some sickness cases and a chemist friend of mine donated and served the free medicines. I had full support from the nearby P.C.E.A.Church and the Area Chief of any assistance when and as required.
The young girl, named Jane, who had met me previous week, entered my office with a gloomy face and red eyes and seemed as if she was suffering from malaria. She made it very clear that she had no sort of fever but a mental break down because she had a personal problem, which often makes her so. I asked her to take a seat and relax and I served her with a glass of cool water and allowed her to calm down.
“ Thank you Sir, thank you very much. I am a medical student at the Medical Training Center at Milimani and at present staying in the hostel. I have certain reason of not staying at home that is not far from my college. I visit my parents on the weekends and the vacation.
Lastly, a year ago when I came back from home, I could not attend my lectures regularly. Suddenly, while in the lecture-hall or in the dining hall, I felt uneasiness and dizziness and I had to abandon a lecture or the food in the middle and rush to the hostel room and seek compulsory rest. This happened at several times to the amazement of the college-mates and the room mates. Even the lecturer’s attention was drawn towards my sudden change.
The doctors, who came to lecture from the nearby Nyayo Hospital, prescribed me with the appropriate medicines but it did not work. The physician of the general hospital also gave me some treatment for about three months but all in vein. I was referred to a Neurologist in Nairobi as the doctor found it to be something wrong with my brain.
The doctor in Nairobi took some special reports and the CT-scan of the brain but nothing materialized. He gave some brain tonics to be taken for a month and asked me to see him thereafter.
The brain tonics had some affects for a week and the same problem of uneasiness and dizziness movement returned, this time lasting longer than previously. I visited the doctor in Nairobi several times and took his medicine and the advice constantly for about five months incurring high expenses. But it did not render any hopeful results. My mental problem was yet to be sorted out. “
The girl really tried her best to pour out her problem at length without any halt although she seemed to be tired thereafter. I allowed her to rest for a while and served her with the glass of cool water. I found her bit relaxed after her talk.
I had been to the Medical Training Center several times to give lectures on Mental Breakdown and I was the visiting doctor in the nearby Provincial General Hospital, Nyayo Wards where most of my handicapped and orphan children clients were treated. I was also the visiting Doctor for the SPECIAL SCHOOL where nearly 150 mentally handicapped children were trained to be normal.
Jane had known my field and my reputation as a successful doctor in the cases of mental breakdown. With a good hope and trust, she had arrived at my place at a given time. I very much wished to sort out her problem by all good means possible.
I checked her temperature and the BP and found the temperature on the higher side and the BP on the lower side. Surely that was not the cause of her problem as any doctor could have noticed it in the first instant. I went over her file with the reports of Blood, urine and stools and of course the CT scan report of her brain which I found normal.
All the treatments given by the various doctors were to the standard. The physician who had established both her ailments to be so gave her the long treatment for the low pressure and the fever.
Going into the detail of her daily life, I found her digestion system normal. She had no sort of gastric, acidic or constipation problems which could have been the cause of her particular problem as in the general cases. She did not take any alcoholic drinks, nor was she addicted to any drugs.
She had some boy friends but never allowed herself in the sexual affair with anyone. Her food was normal. She had no bad habits, which would create the particular situation. She had some problems in her menses and that did not require any special treatment. For that, I advised her to avoid certain types of foods and to do certain part of Yoga in the morning.
In the next meeting I went into the detail of her personal relations with her parents and other family members and particularly the reason of her staying in the hostel although her house was in the same town.
Her eyebrows aroused to my surprise and she broke into tears before giving me the true cause.
I calmed her and asked her to pour out her heart without any setback to enable me to be helpful to her. I was able to convince her to disclose the issue without any setback, as it would help her a great deal. It would be easy for me to treat her properly once I knew the true cause of his ailment. Surely, it was not physical. And she started pouring out her problem with tears on her cheeks.
“ My father, who was earning well was in the bad company and had started drinking in public places. He even dared to come home drunk and shouted and quarreled with my mother, who under the circumstances had a connection with a couple of men who would come at home in the absence of the father and talk and giggle with the mother for long time. Sometimes my mother would stay with one of the men in closed doors and I could very well hear the whispers, hisses of kisses and sighs and could not face the situation. I came to realize that my mother was sleeping with different men to satisfy her sexual lust.
I was so disturbed by the situation that my mind could not set on studies. I could hardly tolerate to find my mother to have an affair with the other men to my good knowledge. That was really bad…very bad…you see Sir”
She stopped for a while, breathed deeply and continued.
“ Under whatever circumstances my mother did it, it was not the right way…Sleeping with other men when she was very much aware of my presence…How bad Sir…Really very bad.
I used to run away from the situation and went to the neighbor and sat for TV for long without making out anything from the program. But my thoughts moved around the drunkard father and the wayward mother and at events I felt uneasiness and dizziness to the intolerable extent.
I would hide away in my room and just tried to forget the matter and try to adjust my mind on studies and other activities. But the haunting thoughts of my mother sleeping with her male friends would not allow me peace. Never…
I would try to pass time with the neighbor, mostly in the beautiful garden and sometimes picked some flowers and played around with the children of the neighbour. I would even narrate fairy tales to the children who were very pleased to listen.
One day, suddenly to my shock the neighbor who had never bothered me so far, came out rudely and insulted me, talked much about my spoiled parents and told me not to come to his compound any more. He abused me that my presence in his area would spoil his children and the other neighbors would be talking nasty about him as I was the daughter of the wayward woman and a drunkard father.
I could not face and tolerate the situation for long. I controlled my wits and dared to talk about it to my father and mother separately when they were in proper moods. The parents decided to admit me in the hostel to avoid the distress faced by me. Neither of them promised me to improve themselves. The father did not bother to come out from his extra doses and the mother did not show any with-drawl to her habit of sleeping with different men.
I stayed in the college-hostel without any problems for few days but the dirty images of my drunkard father and the sexually un-satisfied mother haunted me like hounds and I could hardly sleep smoothly.
Later on I heard of my mother running away from home and staying with one of her rich male-friends. The father was alone and always drunk when not on work. He had also some affairs with an Italian woman who had come to serve the needy as an NGO. I was also told of the father bringing the white lady at home on the weekends. . The news of my run away mother and the wayward father was shocking for me and I could hardly face the situation. I fainted in the middle of the lecture and was admitted in the special ward of the General Hospital where I was injected some glucose bottles and the medicines for three days and was advised to rest for a couple of days.
The medicines gave me a temporary relief and the same problem of dizziness and fainting at times continued in between the lectures and the outings. I was advised never to move alone, as any thing could happen to me while on the road.
The drunkard father had come to see me twice in the hospital and asked me to come at home and rest for few days. I avoided the situation as I did not find it convenient for me to rest in the house in the absence of my mother and in the presence of my drunkard father.”
She seemed to be more relaxed as she had poured out her true ailments in detail to me with hope of the right treatment and the proper guidance. She glared at me with the full hope shining in her eyes, breathed deeply twice and drank the glass of cool water once more.
Now the ball was in my court. She did not need further watch or observations or any further reports for a proper diagnosis. Her case was open and to my good understandings. She required no more drugs or any other treatment but a friendly and workable advice and guidance. If the atmosphere at her home could change and only if she could bring her parents together, everything would turn out to be normal, I concluded.
“ Alright Jane… Just relax as everything would turn out to be normal soon. Do one thing immediately… Leave the hostel for time being and stay at home with the father and do the rest as per my advice…Just take care of the drunkard father with all the affection a daughter could give to a father. You should never talk about the white Mem, until required to do so. Make sure to prepare the food of his choice and serve him with the drinks at home at the reduced doses. Never abuse him, never shout at him but sympathise with him, be friendly with him and take him to the Church every Sunday regularly. Under the circumstances he would have no room to deny. I am very much sure and confident that once you treat him properly, he would willingly do as you say.
Make sure to pray with him every day at home at night before sleep. Talk to him about the evils of alcoholic drinks and convince him to reduce the drinking slowly.
Talk of the evils of adultery with some living examples. Show him the goodness of staying with family in good and bad. Talk something good of him also and how you loved him as the father. Also talk about your mother who is very much willing to join him if only he asks her to do so. Tell him how the mother is sorry to be apart from him.
I sincerely advice you to pray regularly for your wayward mother and give her visits occasionally and never argue with her or never tell her where she was wrong. Talk nicely with her and even with her friend if he happens to meet her. Talk to her about the father, and how he misses her. Talk something good about her and how the father is sorry to miss her. Keep on visiting her and keep on praying for her. Just show her how much you miss her.
When the tune is positive from her, talk to the father about her. Talk good of both to each other and create a peaceful atmosphere between them. Let both take it granted that both of them are in need of each other and are willing to settle again.”
And Jane was so happy to get my proper advice that she thanked me from the bottom of her heart and knelt before me with a grateful smile and exclaimed,
“ Oh Doctor… you are a God sent angel to me…You have really helped me out…I am extremely relaxed. May Almighty Lord bless you and your family with a long and healthy life to serve the needy persons of my type…Once more, Thank you very much Sir and may God be with you at all events.”
“ It is alright Jane. I am happy to see you so much concerned about your parents. You have proved yourself to be a loving daughter. May God bless you and be with you to sort out your problem once for ever, soon.”
Jane visited me once in every two weeks and briefed me regularly on telephone as and when required about her changing situation. She was feeling much better serving the father and visiting her mother. Both were pleased with her approach and behavior.
The father never came drunk at home and took a very limited dose of drinks at home. The white lady never visited her father at home and she was told that even the father had avoided visiting her.
He became the regular member of the Sunday Church and prayed twice everyday and brought Bible and other religious books, from which he read some sermons regularly at night before sleep.
To her surprise, once her mother came to visit her at her home with some fruits and biscuits and gifts. She tried to avoid the presence of the husband in the beginning but later on they started greeting each other without any grudges. At times, they also conversed.
And one day to my surprise, Jane gave me the good news of the happy union of her parents, the loving mother and the affectionate father both changed to a good standard. She was very happy to see her prayers heard by LORD Jesus and the diagnosis and the right treatment by the Indian doctor coming to a fruitful recovery.
The neighbor who was a bit rough with Jane also came to Jane with a good proposal of her freedom in his garden. She was free to play with his children as and when required. He was good enough to apologize to Jane for his rough behaviour. She was free to do her lessons in his special study room and use the telephone as and when required. The lady of the house also turned out to be very social and kind to Jane.
Jane was very happy to see the changed atmosphere to her satisfaction. She came to thank me with a bunch of lovely flowers and a box of sweets of my choice. The parents visited my place and came forward to provide milk, bread and fruits to one of my orphanages.
The prayers had played an important role to the rescue of the girl who was sick of the circumstances and the attitudes. Almighty Lord had heard her prayers and she was able to unite the parents with the bad habits gone forever. It was the prayers that improved the relations with the rough natured neighbor and his wife who turned out to be good friends indeed, in all occasions thereafter.
Jane turned out to be one of the most talented students of the Medical Institute and never felt uneasiness or dizziness ever thereafter. She joined my service staff to help the needy once every fortnight. She could be very useful to me to treat and cure the cases of her type,
I WAS SURE,
SHE HAD TOTALLY COME BACK TO HERSELF.